Most people would be crazy-over-the-moon excited about winning an award. Of any kind. Let alone an international award for a book they wrote.
I sure was.
That moment I learned of my first ever book award I was half laughing, half blubbering down the phone to my Mr Mac, and then to my Mum, and then to anyone who would listen.
I was stunned. Utterly speechless. Only able speak in single-syllable words. Disbelieving that a book I wrote stood among the best mind-body-spirit reads in the world.
Fast-forward 12 months or so and we’re now talking international book award #4.
In fact, Soul Happiness is now sharing the very same stage as that spiritual luminary Marianne Williamson. Her latest book was the gold to Soul Happiness’ silver in the enlightenment + spirituality category of the 2014 Living Now Book Awards.
I sway between two states.
The inner conversation goes a little like this:
I mean WTF? Seriously? I wrote a book – I WROTE A BOOK – that is runner up to the latest offering from Marianne Williamson. Seriously?
And yet that crazy, giddy inner talk is all laced with a big dose of ‘meh’.
A shoulder shrug … another one…no big deal…move on…what’s next…
I’m a walking contradiction.
This little ‘ole indie self-help author has become more and more de-sensitised to ‘success’ even though I thought it was everything I wanted.
I wanted to be credible as an author. I wanted to be recognised in my field. I wanted to be validated as someone who had something meaningful to say.
And of course it’s freakin awesome.
But I’ve realised that none of that matters. One. Little. Bit.
Now, Universe, I don’t want to sound ungrateful, because the opposite is true, so momentary gratitude pause: thank you for guiding me and blessing me, I am beyond thankful that you allow me to do the work I do.
That being said. And awards aside. I’ve realised there’s only one thing that really matters.
It’s my why. Why I write.
And it’s not for success.
It’s because I adore it. And I kinda need it.
And it’s for you.
I’ve realised I’m more interested in what you think. What you feel. What you need.
I write to create that moment of inspiration on the page that reads like it speaks straight to your soul.
I write to show you how to…
– be free to be you
– be limitless
– see your true beauty
– radiate your inner power
– shine your light
– blaze your trail in the world.
That’s what matters. That’s what truly matters to me.
And I am endlessly humbled to be the spark that lit your soul on fire.